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Joke of the Day

"sex while camping? Now that's fucking in tents."

"My girlfriend asked if I would spend a month away from her for 5000 dollars. It's tempting, but I don't think I can afford it."

"why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? For drizzle"

"What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal? His shoulder."

"Scientist: But WHY is the bee population dying? Scientist: No idea. *eats bee* Scientist: Did you just eat a bee? Scientist: *eats bee* No."

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock... *who's there"" It's the chicken!"

"Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A. Samson. He brought the house down."

"Drill Sgt didn't like me giving unlicensed chiropractic adjustments to the platoon when he told me... Get your hands off my privates!"

"If you say ""My Cocaine"" out-loud, you are also saying ""Michael Caine"" in his own voice - MIND OFFICIALLY BLOWN"