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Joke of the Day

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field!"

"I can be up bright or early. Pick one."

"What did the lazy monk say? Namaste..right here"

"New Parent Idea: 1. Take pictures of you pulling baby out of spacecraft in forest. 2. Hide pictures in attic for kid to find when he's 10."

"Knock knock ""Who's there"" Knock knock ""Who's there"" The deaf man walked away having completely ruined the joke."

"I painted my scanner black so it would run faster. Now it can't read."

"Did you guys hear about that actress who stabbed her waiter with her fork? Im trying to remember her name. Its Reese something. Help me out here...."

"I lost one of mom's Tupperware at work and now I'm looking for a new family to adopt me."

"Who built the round table? Sir cumference assisted by Sir cular Huehuehue"

"*puts up baby gates all around the outside of my house* There. That should keep 'em out."