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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend asked if I would spend a month away from her for 5000 dollars. It's tempting, but I don't think I can afford it."

"Wanna hear a joke? Rays legs."

"Whats the most confusing day in Detroit? Fathers day."

"My work signed me up for a 401k But I've never even run a marathon"

"If I could be a woman for 24 hours, I would probably spend most of it telling myself to shut the fuck up"

"Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America? Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China."

"I just did all the math and it turns out that girls have tweeted ""Sushi time!"" on 4,362,622,021 different occasions."

"*watching a cop walk past during drug deal* ok relax, just be cool.. ""bonjour mademoiselle how much of le methamphetamine dost thou fancy"""

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it! How do you catch a tame rabbit? The tame way. All thanks go to my father, I'll show myself out."

"[interview] Ok, don't let them know you're naked ""Why are you naked?"" dammit"