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Joke of the Day

"If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 problems and a bitch is all of them I feel you"

"Back in the day my parents wanted me to marry only one of my own. Now they're like ""That orangutan looks nice. That elephant looks smart."""

"I only watch Storage Wars to see if they find my ex's body. Just kidding. I like the show. And she's buried in the woods."

"I like my women like I like my books. With big Titles."

"How do you get a goth down from a tree? Cut the rope"

"Having sex in a bunch of python compilation errors It's fucking *indents*"

"What do Mexicans use to cut their pizza? Little Ceasars"

"Why did 10 die? He was caught in the middle of 9/11."

"Every room in my house has a stained-glass window. Maybe I should wash them sometime...."

"Did you hear that Napoleon broke the Sphinx's nose with a singe shot? It was a one-hit wonder. I'll show myself out."