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Joke of the Day

"Back in the day my parents wanted me to marry only one of my own. Now they're like ""That orangutan looks nice. That elephant looks smart."""

"What the hell is Minecraft? Hitler's lesser known, second, book about his love of knitting."

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? ""See you next month."""

"Why can't you trust snakes ? They speak with forked tongues !"

"I've stopped trying to explain twitter to my friends and now just say,""I collect tiny imaginary people in my phone using jokes as bait."""

"*Gandalf rollerblades into the club* ""YO DJ PLAY SOME DIRTY DUBSTE-- *slips on a drink & lands flat on face* ""SCRAP THAT CALL AN AMBULANCE"

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall ... And smoked a joint"

"How do you keep a blonde in suspense? ..."

"Give a man a fish and chances are you won't be asked to be in charge of buying a gift ""from all of us"" anymore."

"You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart."