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Joke of the Day

"I have a great ebola joke! You probably won't get it"

"I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get caught up in one of those ""Eat right and exercise"" scams."

"I said ""no"" to a lot of things this year without giving them a chance. In 2016 I plan on saying ""maybe"" more and then changing it to ""no""."

"That prank where you roll the windows down as you go through a carwash so your friends get soaked isn't as funny when you do it by yourself"

"My gal pal: ""Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!"" Me: ""Poverty."""

"It's a real shame Friday doesn't come as quick as I do"

"Interestingly, if we invade North Korea because it caused us to miss a movie, that still won't be the worst reason we ever went to war."

"Its funny how your parents tell you its their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too."

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged."

"Is it gay in here or is it just Glee?"