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Joke of the Day

"I always carry a pair of shades with me because you never know when you might see a dead body & say something cool"

"Tampon is the worse thing to call a woman. A stuck up cunt"

"Whats the difference between sex and US Presidental elections? In sex,the decision to choose the cunt or the asshole is a pleasure"

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong WALKED on the moon. Michael Jackson fucked little boys."

"Shout-out to people just out of earshot."

"Way to greet me with a headache, Friday. Who died and made you an asshole? You think you're Monday or something?"

"""Uhm, EXCUSE me, my eyes are out HERE."" -- Hammerhead sharks"

"There is a drink called sandy It's a watered down manhattan."

"It doesn't matter whether you're a bad parent or a bad drug dealer... Because at the end of the day a kid gets smacked."

"A pretty face gets old, a nice body changes, but a good woman will always be a good woman."