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Joke of the Day

"It doesn't matter whether you're a bad parent or a bad drug dealer... Because at the end of the day a kid gets smacked."

"Fish Cakes A guy walks into a bar with a Salmon under his arm and says, ""Do you sell fish cakes here?"" Bartender: No we don't. Guy: That's a shame... it's his birthday."

"A man came home to find his wife in bed with a stranger. ""What the hell are you two doing?"" He demanded. His wife turned to the stranger and said, ""See, I told you he was stupid."""

"HI? ""The test results came back positive. You have only able to speak in state abbreviations disease"" ME? ""yes"" OH ""sorry it's permanent"" OK"

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in the leaves? Russell."

"How do you kill a blonde? Give them a gun an say it is a blow dryer"

"Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a bird? A: A gulp. It's like a swallow, only bigger."

"Don't date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison."

"How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb? Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of."

"Particle physics joke The bartender yells, ""We don't serve your kind here!"" A tachyon walks into a bar."