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Joke of the Day

"[Pun] Why did Henry invent the assembly line? He couldn't a-Ford not to. *bad-dum tish*"

"I'd just like to say I called Katy Perry's popularity the first time I saw the ""I Kissed a Girl"" music video. Also, I am tone deaf."

"HOT SHINGLES IN YOUR AREA GET YOUR VACCINE AT WALGREENS TODAY"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger was ostracised when he was young. After taking steroids, however, he was Austria sized."

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when invited to the musician themed costume party? I'll be Bach"

"[ Anything I buy from now until Christmas, I consider it a gift... ] Kids! Close your eyes and hold out your hands! ""Toilet paper?!"""

"Oh, no! I only have fish eggs for dinner again! Roe is me!"

"When you open your heart to someone, there is blood. Lots and lots of blood. And then you die. So don't open your heart."

"A guy walks into a doctors office with a carrot in his ear and a piece ofcelery up his nose. The doctor told him he wasn't eating right."

"What do you call an ugly dinosaur? An eyesaur"