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Joke of the Day

"I was in a job interview. The guy said, ""What's your biggest weakness?"" I said, ""I'm a great listener."""

"A secretary walks into her boss's office and says, ""Can I use your Dictaphone?"" He says, ""No, dial with your finger like everyone else."""

"What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback Go ahead, down vote me to oblivion Edit: thanks for all the love, appreciated"

"My mum told me to stop tickling my little brothers feet. Apparently I should wait until he is born."

"*Sees ant carrying a leaf that weighs 3x its body weight* Wife: Can you imagine being that strong? Me: *Picking up leaf* Yes."

"A female is like an AP free response question She asks question A, B, C, and D and implanted in all Are questions i, ii, and iii."

"The total age of the women I've slept with this year is 132, which would be so much more impressive if it was more than two women."

"It sucks not being miserable enough to bust out a good tweet."

"It would have been more realistic if that Michael Jackson hologram last night touched a few little little boys in the front row."

"What are the first words Jared Fogle's girlfriend said to him? ""Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies, sir?"""