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Joke of the Day

"The total age of the women I've slept with this year is 132, which would be so much more impressive if it was more than two women."

"There are three ways to spread news telegram, television and tellawoman."

"Whats a motivational word for a gopher? Gopher' it."

"What is the most surprised a cow can be?? UDDERLY SURPRISED! (Edit: UTTERLY to UDDERLY)"

"Muslim feminist was explaining how women and men are equal in Islam ""You see, women have to cover their hair and their entire bodies. ""And to be equal, men have to.. uh.. wear shorts"" *applause*"

"My dad shouted ""shut up idiots"" to the cats. I told him ""You're speaking English to a cat. You're the idiot. You have to meow at them."""

"Why do bad break-dancers get reduced prison sentences? Time served"

"What do the jews use to browse the internet? NethanYahoo!"

"I couldn't use my phone at the funeral home it was a dead zone."

"Did you hear about the Parisian who jumped off a bridge? He went in Seine."