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Joke of the Day

"wish hard enough & anything can happen, they say. yet two hours later my stomach growls & my breakfast still isn't making itself. liars!"

"WHAT are birds so happy about at 7am? What? Oh, right. Pooping while airborne. Good one."

"Who invented minced meat ? A leper playing the guitar."

"Why did the Walrus go to the tupperware party? He was looking for a tight seal."

"Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels."

"If you had a donkey and it bit off my rooster's legs, what do you have? Two feet of my cock in your ass."

"As a younger man, I used to think women were only good for one thing... As I've gotten older I've realized......I'm better at doing that myself too."

"Having gay parents must be horrible You either get twice the usual amount of dad jokes or get stuck in an infinite loop of ""go ask your mom"""

"So today I got tickets for the Kanye West concert... I misread it horribly though and I ended up somewhere in Africa"

"That moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, hit a lamp and kill a cat."