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Joke of the Day

"An old man was having a check up.... The doctor asked how hid erections were doing. ""They come and go."""

"When someone tells me how old their kid is in months, I ask them to rephrase it in days, so they know what I just went through."

"""Lord of the Rings"" seems like kind of a racist book. It doesn't even have a Tolkien black guy."

"Why have I never noticed the 'anus' in 'manuscript' before? It's like hearing music for the first time."

"Why did the coach go to Aldi? To get his quarterback."

"I'm a Mime rapper I call myself Gnat. Cause I'm a silent G."

"I just got a really terrible circumcision What a rip-off!"

"""Oh you like this cake? (*Tosses cake out the window*) Oops."" - Game of Thrones"

"An Irish man left the bar"

"Banks suck ass. First they get bailed out with $700B of our money, then they're like ""You can't use Wingdings for the font on your checks."""