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Joke of the Day

"""Oh you like this cake? (*Tosses cake out the window*) Oops."" - Game of Thrones"

"Just had an idea for a book that'd be a good screenplay that'd make a great short that'd be an amazing blog that's totally a tweet."

"How does a male contraceptive pill work? You put it in his shoe and it makes him limp."

"A girl compliments a guy on his new phone. Girl: 'Nice phone!' Guy: ' Thanks! I won it in a race.' Girl: ' Who were the participants?' Guy: ' The owner, the cop and me. '"

"I listen to nothing more closely than the muffled conversation happening after someone has accidentally pocket dialed me."

"Did you hear the joke about a feminist? That isn't funny."

"When my robot left me for Africa I had to ask why. ""Why are you moving there?"" ""Because! Botswana! Duh"""

"A homely man is walking down the street... When a stranger sees him. The stranger exclaims ""Boy, are you fucking ugly!"" The man turns around and says ""Don't talk about my sister that way!"""

"(original) What hit song did Phil Collins write the after a big dinner at an Indian restaurant? I can feel it coming In The Air Tonight, Oh Lord!"

"[10 PM] If I go to bed now, I'll get a full 8 hours of sleep [3AM] Siri what is a grape nut"