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Joke of the Day
"What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business."
Next Joke
"Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: ""Mother said there would be knights like this."""
"How much is a $1,000,000 Bill worth? Nothing! You can't use it anywhere!"
"Sorry I said you looked like black Garfield in your Catwoman costume."
"Alzheimer's Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you that you have cancer and Alzheimer's disease. Geezer: Well at least I don't have cancer."
"Am I the only one who's concerned about the fact that we haven't heard SHIT from Wyoming in like nine years?"
"[Jesus' dating profile] I love wine that's made from water, taking long walks on the ocean and going to supper w my friends."
"The best time to reevaluate your life is when the online video you're watching is buffering"
"Girls like guys who take charge: ask her out, plan a date, take a hostage, overthrow a government, nuke her ex's hometown, buy her a puppy."
"Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st? Because they have just finished a 31 day March."