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Joke of the Day

"Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: ""Mother said there would be knights like this."""

"Why do cannabis smokers call that tiny device that holds the butt of a cigarette a roach-clip? ...because ""pot holder"" was already taken."

"Anne Frank's famous last words. Brb, door"

"What time is it after you've eaten a dozen eggs? 8:12"

"When is the only time when No shirt no shorts no shoes gets you service? If you're a surfer and you're getting head."

"I've been messing about with my ouija board and i asked it if i was gonna get laid tonight. The pointer keeps gliding between the H and the A. It's been half an hour now...."

"what gets wet when it dries?? a towel"

"[Nerd Joke] Yo momma's so fat she sees red lights as green... ...Doctors call this colour blindness, physicists call it gravitational blue-shift."

"Just a reminder not to wear white after Labor Day and not to be black around cops."

"toothpaste is a big scam. if ur tooth falls out, it stays out. toothpaste Will Not paste it back in."