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Joke of the Day

"Alzheimer's Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you that you have cancer and Alzheimer's disease. Geezer: Well at least I don't have cancer."

"I think I better go play the lottery because I just correctly plugged in a USB cord on the first try."

"WIFE: *filing for divorce* ME: Are you mad at me?"

"What was Pablo Escobar's favourite pool party game? Narco Polo."

"What did the bee say to his wife? No on knows. It's a Mister Bee."

"Yes, autocorrect, I wanted to ask if she was all tight. Thank you. Now I know."

"I've never gotten along with tall people We just never see eye to eye."

"Whenever I see a happy couple, smiling, giggling, feeding each other food, whispering sweet nothings, very much in love, I just wish I could give them a lie-detector test."

"A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help He heard we have a lot of experts in re-posting"

"Bill Gates walks into a Apple Store.... and as he is looking at the ipad he farts. He takes a whiff and says to an employee, you need to buy some windows."