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Joke of the Day

"Vacationing in Switzerland ""So did you enjoy the beautiful scenery?"" ""I couldn't really see much because of the mountains."""

"They say it takes talent to keep making movies after 50 Apparently they haven't said this to Steven Seagal"

"I'm sure I didn't invent this joke, but i thought of it myself. What do you call a dog/ octopus hybrid? A Dog-opus! What about a cat/ octopus hybrid? an Octo-puss... buddum tiss*"

"Please may I have a new bum? Mines got a crack in it"

"People get so weird when I step on the gym scale behind them, naked."

"A man is told he is drunk by a Bartender He shouted ""I am not drunk"" The Bartender shouted ""Tell the time!"" The man walked up to the clock and shouted at the Clock ""I AM NOT FUCKING DRUNK"""

"3 guys just arrived to heaven and... 3 guys just arrived to heaven and then Jesus proceeds to call by their names: - ""Rand"" kiss my hand! - ""Pete"" kiss my feet! Then Jesus: Rick!? Why are you running?"

"2 men knock on an Essex girls door. ""Hello love how would you like double glazing?"",they ask. ""Oh go on then"", she replies falling to her knees, ""just not in my eyes"""

"What is an Arkansas virgin? A girl who can run faster than her brothers."

"What has eighteen legs and fetches a ball? The Philadelphia Beagles!"