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Joke of the Day

"If laughter was the best medicine... Your face would cure the world!"

"WHAT DO YOU CALL A FAKE NOODLE? AN IMPASTA."

"FRIENDSHIP TIP: stick your head under the bathroom stalls and introduce yourself! You never know where you'll find your soulmate"

"The U.S. has more prisons than degree-granting colleges. How absurd. To fix that, we should merge some prisons and split up some colleges."

"Society has this weird perception that nurses are the most nurturing parents. My kids: My arm hurts when I move it!! Me: Then don't do it."

"My girlfriend is getting bored of my obsession with pretending to be a detective, she's suggested we should split up. It's a good idea, we'll cover more ground that way."

"Do you never want the party to end? Now, it doesn't have to! Introducing, DRUGS."

"Limericks eh? There once was a fellow named Blair Who was having his girl on the stair On the 44th stroke The banister broke So he finished her off in the air."

"Why couldn't the founding fathers ever get a date? They were revolting"

"Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths."