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Joke of the Day

"On behalf of all of my black followers, I'd like to remind you all to fuck the police today."

"Why won't Santa be visiting Nigel Farage this year? He only comes if you sleep, not if Ukip."

"Why do Jewish men watch porn backwards? So they can see the hooker hand the money back."

"Quitting the gym because it's easier, quicker and cheaper to simply invite my friends over for dinner every day and make them fatter than me"

"So a man asks a rabbi... ""Do you make a lot of money doing circumcisions?"" To which the Rabbi replies: ""Not really, but I get to keep the tips."""

"I don't mean to brag but my stalker has OCD so he trims my bushes while he's hiding in them waiting for me to get home."

"If a girl says vulgarities Is she called vulgirl?"

"Dear God, Laying an egg once a month would have been preferable. Thanks for nothing. ~ All women"

"I like that all the Ikea instructions illustrations always assume I have a friend."

"A WASP goes into a clothing store to buy a suit. He asks a salesperson, ""How much is this one?"" The salesperson says, ""It's $1000."" The WASP says, ""I'll take it."""