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Joke of the Day

"I like that all the Ikea instructions illustrations always assume I have a friend."

"My kid wants pizza without the crust AND a side of breadsticks. It appears I've given birth to everything that's wrong with America."

"Why don't Photons go to church on Sunday? Photons never have mass when at rest!"

"If you receive a text from Liam Neeson that says ""LMAO,"" it stands for ""let's murder Albanians overseas"" and he wants his daughter back."

"An Anus Gets into a fight with two guys at a bar He rectum"

"What does a 90 year old pussy taste like? Depends."

"I need to get off my high horse. He's certainly in no condition to take me anywhere right now. Get yourself together, junkie."

"What is a nazi's favourite food? Luftwaffles"

"What did the metaphysicist say when he came out of the bathroom? shit just got real!"

"the doctors gnash their teeth and howl through the night, but they dare not breach the lines of my apple orchard"