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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a broken down bus stop and a crab with breast implants? One is a rusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."

"so I used to read /r/nosleep to get scared Now all I have to do is remember than Hillary is still running"

"[Christmas] 6:30kids are excited 7:30kids are playing 8:00kids are fighting 9:00kids are crying 9:15wife is yelling 9:30I am drinking"

"Most of us get into advertising for the money. Me? I've just always had a passion for making people feel bad"

"What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? ..."

"Why does the indian rain dance always work? Becuase they keep dancing until it works."

"A duck walks into a drug store. He says ""Give me some chap stick."" The cashier asks ""Will that be cash or credit?"" The duck says ""Just put it on my bill."""

"I say ""fight me"" a lot for a girl that's 5'2"" and has a tough time opening some doors because they're too heavy."

"What's George Washington's favorite element? Americium-1776"

"So... the girl I lost my virginity to was retarded. I wanted my first time to be special."