67871

Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? 'ell if I know."

"How do ghosts become friends? They bond over boos. I made this up while sleep-deprived last night. I am sorry."

"god: go to earth jesus: why god: i have a plan jesus: is it a nice plan god: it's a plan"

"Back in my day we didn't call meeting strangers from the Internet in random places for a weekend ""tweet ups"" we called it ""shit you dont do"""

"Why does a jew watch pornography backwards? He wants to see the prostitute give back money."

"Saw a standup duo last night. One totally died on stage. The other killed. Actually, now I think about it, it might have been a cage fight."

"A priest, a jew, and an atheist all walk into a bar... ...You'd think one of them would've seen it!"

"Teens are like the Magic 8ball of humans, they think they have all the answers & you want to shake them because what they said was stupid."

"Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine."

"I, too, am shocked Ted Cruz has had sex. I just assumed his kids were born when he ate after midnight and got wet like in the movie Gremlins"