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Joke of the Day

"My wife wants me to be her sexual advisor She said:""if I want your fucking opinion I'll ask for it"""

"What do you call 3 knights in a relationship? Polyarmory"

"*sees cute girl on sidewalk* nice *she makes eye contact* oh wow *she smiles* is this happening *she's holding a clipboard* god dammit"

"If you can't tell the difference between ""erotic"" & ""exotic"" then zoo keeping is definitely not for you."

"I'm so tired I could sleep a horse"

"as punishment, the townspeople force me to wear a prominent, scarlet letter ""A"", which stands for ""a big piece of shit who loves crime"""

"There's no such thing as the funny bone... But I heard the upper arm is quite humerus."

"Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her a month to realize she could play it at night..."

"Where did Mario and Luigi go to school? At 'Wass-a-matta U'"

"I found out why MP7s sound so good: They are four better than MP3s."