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Joke of the Day

"If a woman wants to date me, she has to meet my strict criteria 1. Hair 2. At least one eye 3. A pulse 4. Not that bothered about 1"

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"I knew it was time to vacuum when the baby rolled over and looked like an everything bagel."
"How a girl insults another Girl1: In my hand is your virginity. Girl2: But there's nothing on your hand! Girl1: Exactly."
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot kill, the courage to blow up the things I can, and the wisdom to not get caught."
"Why doesn't God like grapefruit? Because he doesn't fucking exist."
"how do socks reproduce? they have socks. goodnight folks"
"Hillary Clinton is a strong woman who doesn't need Bill. Besides, the FBI has been fingering her for a while now."
"Anybody ever taken a Billy may's poop everytime you think it's over it's like but wait there's more"
"Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 RAPED 9!!"
"Why are black people so tall? Cuz their knee grows."
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