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Joke of the Day

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot kill, the courage to blow up the things I can, and the wisdom to not get caught."

"Whats the difference between an onion and a hooker? *Dead pan face*, I don't cry when I cut up hookers."

"""I OBJECT!!!"" The defendant screams in court. The judge gives him a very emotional hug and says ""no... you human""."

"What did the dick say to the condom? Cover me, I'm going in!"

"I guess if I had laser hairs, I'd want them removed too."

"Circles are so pointless."

"Doing a suicide attack is... ...a once-in-a-lifetime experience."

"A man asks a Canadian woman if she'd like to have sex... ...""Only if you plan to have some yourself."" Ah, Canada. America's [polite] hat."

"What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun has only one trigger."

"Q: How many Democrats does it take to destroy a light bulb? A: None. They only know how to destroy the taxpayers."