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Joke of the Day

"How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to do it, a second to keep yelling, ""You're lookin' BIG, man!"""

"What do you call someone who molests puppies and kittens? A Petophile"

"My girlfriend calls me Duracell Because I last up to 10 times longer"

"Hispanic magician: ""I will disappear on the count of three. Ready? Uno, dos"" *poof* And just like that he vanished without a tres"

"What's the difference between yogurt and the US? Yogurt's got a culture. (no offence)"

"My friend graduated in psychology with a 3.8 GPA I wish she'd stop telling me her life story and just give me my order of fries already."

"I met a guy who said he could get a great deal on a pillowcase... turns out, it was a sham."

"I thought by this point in my life I would know what to do with my arms when I sleep, but nope, still confused."

"It's not fair to blame Pizza Hut for my weight gain. It was more of a Domino effect."

"A Roman legionary walks into a bar.. He starts complaining about his ex-girlfriends to the bartender. The bartender replies, astounded, ""how do you even manage 10 girlfriends?"""