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Joke of the Day

"Imagine the towering achievements in aquatecture if sawfish & hammerhead sharks ever get their shit together"

"I can be the man of your dreams... ...if you dream of a man who exposes himself to the elderly on public transport."

"What has six eyes but cannot see? Three men in a house with dirty dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and kids that need a bath"

"Michael Sam has stepped away from football. He will now pursue his sacks elsewhere."

"What do you get when you combine a joke with a rhetorical question?"

"i was just singing radiohead's 'creep' into my cat's ear and he started meowing it along with me then we both took a shit in his litter box."

"What do you call a Greek stripper? Popalottapus"

"I painted my laptop black so it would run faster... ...but now it doesn't work."

"5-year-old: Why is there a baseball bat under your bed? Me: In case there's a burglar. 5: Me: 5: Why do burglars like to play baseball?"

"IamA Bing search engine AMA Please. Just ask me something."