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Joke of the Day

"Flavor Flav is the bomb \()/ "

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"A third-party vote walks out of a bar... He says ""Wow, I'm wasted."""
"[Ad shows dude getting out of bed before noon on the weekend] *professional stuntman do not attempt*"
"Today's the 3rd anniversary of my joining Twitter. Also the 3rd anniversary of the last time I spoke to my family or read a book."
"Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is play dumb."
"What's Spider-Mans favorite online music app? Spotafly."
"My wife was looking tired after giving blood I asked if she felt drained..."
"[1st Day after wildebeests take over] I'm safe in my house [Day 7] Thought I heard clattering [Day 21] THEY CAN OPEN DOORS WITH THEIR HOOVES"
"Hey, are you -273.15C? Yeah, I'm 0K thanks."
"This joke didn't just happen by chance It was punintentional"