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Joke of the Day

"Today's the 3rd anniversary of my joining Twitter. Also the 3rd anniversary of the last time I spoke to my family or read a book."

"A Test WC in college. Three cubicles. Voice from the left: *Peter, professor passed you in philosophy?* Voice from the right: *No, he did not...* Voice from the middle: **And I won't!**"

"Despite my last 12,000 tweets, I'm actually really fun."

"Went into the kitchen to look for pot and all I found were pans."

"Me: Hi. Girl: No."

"Why can't they use PC's as word-processors in Poland? The screens keep on filling up with white-out."

"What do you call it when 2 cops let everyone know some dead cow meat is homosexual. Steakout"

"What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college? BYE-SON!"

"What do you call a guy dumped by his Asian girlfriend? Disoriented."

"My jokes are like onions... They're layered. And because if you dissect them I'll cry."