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Joke of the Day
"Little to no thought was put into this status."
Next Joke
"my dad always makes fun of me for taking selfies all the time but if he didn't want such a beautiful child he should've kept it in his pants"
"I'd have an extra 18 hours of free time every day if I lost my phone."
"My 6 month old daughter told me this joke.... but its not funny so i won't waste your time. kids aren't funny you guys nobody cares if they told you a lame joke"
"*smels vinyl record* The Continents r ok but they wer way beter befor they split up. do u kno the supergroup Pangaea? its from befor ur time"
"yesterday at the mall a woman asked for my opinion between two men's shirts and immediately went to check out with the one i didn't choose"
"I don't post for the karma."
"to someone with x-ray vision two people making out look like skeletons that are really bad at eating each other"
"The worst thief ever came to my birthday party today. I mean, I've seen other thieves, but this one took the cake."
"Just because this is a public space doesn't mean my tweets are meant for ALL of you to read! Please respect my privacy at this time!!!"