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Joke of the Day

"to someone with x-ray vision two people making out look like skeletons that are really bad at eating each other"

"I came home from work and finally caught the filthy bitch red handed. So I asked my daughter to please wash her hands if she masturbates on her period."

"Saw two bums in the street going at it with cardboxes boxes... Pillow fight!"

"How to trigger a Canadian My favorite color is gray."

"If a murderous killing machine came back from the future.. And calculated all matrices. Would he be the Determinator?"

"Wanna hear three rapid jokes? No."

"Knock knock _Who's there?_ Armageddon _Armageddon who?_ Armageddon too old for this shit!"

"Why is 6 afraid of 9 on New Years Eve? Because 9, 8, 7...."

"I hate when people ask me where I see myself in 3 years. Do I look like I have a 2020 vision?"

"How to cure a headache 1. Drink a glass of water. 2. Take 10 deep breathes. 3. Give headache your credit card & tell her to go to the mall."