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Joke of the Day

"yesterday at the mall a woman asked for my opinion between two men's shirts and immediately went to check out with the one i didn't choose"

"What does Snoop Lion do when he forgets to wear oven mitts? Drops it like it's hot."

"Why does the Pope always win at chess? He has so many Bishops!"

"What is the one thing you don't give to a Jewish kindergartner? A gold star."

"I've been sneaking clay, sand and mortar into my housemate's food... When they find out they'll shit bricks."

"""I'll see you in hell"" should be followed with ""and I won't even stop to say hi"". Otherwise you're just making plans with someone you hate"

"Just saw a shooting star. The crime in this galaxy is getting out of hand."

"I'm thinking of becoming Hispanic just for the upside-down exclamation point. I like what you guys did there. I'm jealous."

"Confucious say Man walking down the street carrying a 5-disc CD changer... ...is either walking to or from the Salvation Army."

"Did you hear Monica Lewinski is in town? I saw her going down on Clinton! (most towns/cities have a Clinton St.)"