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Joke of the Day

"Don't be sad when you find expired food in your pantry. Be happy you outlived it."

"I once met a woman with wooden breast implants This joke would be funny with a punchline, wouldn't it?"

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? to get to the other side..."

"A knock knock joke I made up when I was 5. Knock knock. ""Who's there?"" Amanda. ""Amanda who?"" A man, duh. (Thought it was hilarious at the time.)"

"Where do you take a cheque? Czechoslovakia."

"What do you call a urinating khalif. Wiz Khalifa"

"I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I'm down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall."

"Whenever my teen cleans his room, I get a brand new set of dishes."

"What's the best name for a male dildo-maker? [NSFW] Dick Smith."

"I was working on a new rape joke, but i couldn't get the punchline to flow right. It just came off sounding too forced."