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Joke of the Day

"When I'm bored, I like to superglue Doritos to my cat and make it run around the house like a stegosaurus."

"What do you call a fish that operates on brains? A brain sturgeon."

"I just farted & my dog looked at me like i asked her a calculus question"

"Female Viagra Why has it taken so long to get a female version of Viagra? They couldn't get the women to agree on the color for the pill."

"Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts. Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche."

"If I can't stand on a counter top display at Home Depot and shit in the sink then we are truly living in a fascist society."

"Food snobs ""May I take your order? "" the waiter asked. ""Yes, how do you prepare your chickens? "" ""Nothing special sir,"" he replied. ""We just tell them straight out that they're going to die. """

"Why do Eyeballs Make Great Comedians? Because they are filled with vitreous humor!"

"Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn't made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl taking a leak? Because their entire species is extinct."