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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a skinned, animal-throwrug for your vehicle? A carpet."

"Kim Kardashian was robbed of her jewellry in Paris. The robbers had a tip off that she had lots of booty."

"Apparently the stock downturn has a lot to do with a big gas plant going offline. I guess the gas was argon."

"Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children."

"A tiny bucket asks to leave work early because he's sick His boss looks him over. Alright you can, i notice you are a little pail."

"How many questions did the politician answer? 9/11"

"What's wrong with a chameleon that can't change colors? He has a reptile dysfunction."

"The quickest way to get a creationist to shut up is threatening to throw them off the edge of the earth."

"Obama: Didn't think he'd be late Biden: I gave him the wrong address Obama: Joe he's the president-elect Biden: idgaf what they call him"

"What's the best way to dispose of a dead body? Was asking for a friend, but he was being a whiny shit about it, so now I'm asking for me."