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Joke of the Day

"Scaring the postman I scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I know where he lives."

"What do you call a blind gynecologist? A pain in the ass"

"why do i wish my lawn was an emo ? SO it would cut itself"

"Green day is playing on the only two alternative rock stations in my neighborhood... There is no alternative."

"When I ask for a threesome with you and your best friend, I am only joking... Unless the answer is yes... In which case, can I videotape it?"

"My first child will be named New Folder."

"There would be no evil in the word..... if Satan had life alert."

"9/11 knock knock *Knock Knock.* Who's there? *9/11* 9/11 who? *You said you'd never forget.*"

"Q: Where is the world's fastest chicken from? A: Ethiopia!"

"Father: When Abe Lincoln was your age he walked 9 miles to school and did homework by candlelight. Son: When Lincoln was your age he was President."