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Joke of the Day

"Where do college students go for medical attention? An I.V. League."

"me: honey, I'm home! [shuts door] girlfriend: (from bedroom) oh yeah harder me: if you say so [slams door]"

"Why did the mexicans fight so hard for the alamo? They wanted 4 clean walls to spray paint."

"Turns out chiropractors aren't actually dinosaurs."

"I was watching the women's Golf earlier. They couldn't drive, but boy, can they use an iron."

"What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner? Cow chow!"

"Trump did great, but... ...imagine how much he would have won by if Clinton hadn't rigged the election."

"I'm quitting drinking for good. Now I drink for evil."

"What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey"

"Walking condoms Two condoms are walking down the street. As they pass a gay bar one turns to the other and says.... you wanna go inside and get shit faced?"