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Joke of the Day

"Trump did great, but... ...imagine how much he would have won by if Clinton hadn't rigged the election."

"My math teacher thinks he is the mathsia... and that he has come to save us from our sines."

"Mexican Carpet layer. What does a Mexican put under his carpet? Underlay! Underlay!"

"If we repeal the 14th amendment, does that means there's room for another 2nd amendment? Same as the old one, but this time in all caps."

"How my dad taught me how to button my suit coats. He said *""Think of it like a woman; sometimes the top, always the middle, but never the bottom.""*"

"I was scraping a window at my Grandma's house.... I then thought up a joke for my mom to hear it was ""This window scraping stuff is a pane in the glass!"" She laughed :)"

"Why does Kevin Bacon not get more leading roles in Hollywood? Because it's not kosher. http://36.media.tumblr.com/cb0ad7dd38767e0fc2363665afdb5cdd/tumblr_inline_ntae7hsEL21tw80r8_1280.jpg"

"What do you call a person who you had a one night stand with on Mars? A solmate"

"There are 2 types of people in the world. Those who don't fold their clothes out of the dryer... ...and women."

"My wife and I decided we don't want children... ...if anybody does, we can drop them off tomorrow."