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Joke of the Day

"How many Greg leganis does it take to fill a swimming pool I don't know but it only takes one to empty it."

"my son would be amazed if I showed him a first generation iPod because we've never met"

"Why did Levi Strauss suffer from chronic diarrhea? It runs in his jeans."

"She said she needed her space and time.. Why didn't she ask for her velocity then?!"

"Airline food is getting worse and worse The passengers on the Germanwings flight said it tasted like they were literally eating rocks."

"A man was arrested for marrying two ugly women... He was charged with pigamy."

"My wife made me into millionaire. I was a multi-millionaire before we met."

"I ate an entire box of delicious Triscuit crackers, and 8 hours later gave birth to a wicker chair."

"*corrects your grammar incorrectly, winks at your date*"

"Started my new job yesterday, and have to go back in today already. THIS IS BULLSHIT."