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Joke of the Day

"Just heard a lady say she's been shopping at this Kmart for the last 15 years, and I was like, ""doesn't your family miss you?"""

"Why the dwarves surf in the kitchen? Because it has microwaves"

"Never gonna invite Jesus for another bondage party Last time around, he forgot his safe word and we had to bury his sorry ass."

"I heard Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their door"

"What's the hardest part of being a gay black cop? The discrimination."

"Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer."

"My kid asked for help with her report but if I did it for her she won't learn! So I showed how to google, change name, & print on her own."

"Kids so mixed... They won't show up in black and white pictures."

"Whats the best christmas present? A broken drum You just can't beat it ba dum tisssssss"

"Ever since Jim got cancer, he's been feeling really crabby"