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Joke of the Day
"Ever since Jim got cancer, he's been feeling really crabby"
Next Joke
"Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? Because when he asked them who the greatest composer was all they would say is ""mmmmmm... Bach Bach Bach""!"
"We put a rover on Mars and made color changin' beer cans. It's about time somebody invents a day to stick between Sunday and Monday. Merica."
"I have The World's Greatest T-Shirt. See, it says so right on the front."
"If you're going to insist I get you a wedding gift, then I'm going to insist you bail me out when I get caught shoplifting it."
"How do you know if someone owns an Apple Watch? Don't worry, they will tell you."
"Lake Erie: Great Lake name Lake Titicaca: Greater lake name"
"Here lies IcarusIsNotLonely, upon his gravestone lie his last words: ""Oh fuck, a car!"""
"I took my prostate exam the other day and... So just last week I went for my first prostate exam. It was really difficult and I couldn't answer most of the questions"
"My mom's favorite part of my birthday is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order."