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Joke of the Day

"Never gonna invite Jesus for another bondage party Last time around, he forgot his safe word and we had to bury his sorry ass."

"Pair of Twins I've been shagging a pair of twins recently, and my friend asked me ""How do you tell the difference?"". I told him ""It's easy! Julie has long blonde hair..."" ""..and Derek has a moustache"""

"What do you call a Jamaican who likes spaghetti? A Pastafarian."

"The snail and the tortoise What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise? Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!"

"The phrase, ""Don't take this the wrong way"" has a zero percent success rate"

"I never ask my kids to call me, I just change the Netflix password and then don't respond to their texts."

"2 blondes fell into a hole The first one said ""*Its dark in here,isn't it?*"" The second one said""*I don't know,I cant see.*"""

"Do you guys remember Helen Keller jokes? What's your favorite one? I'll go. Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's a woman."

"What is the only feeling that's worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat? Sitting on a warm one."

"I like my men like I like my coffee shops. Clean. Smells nice. Free wi-fi."