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Joke of the Day

"How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles."

"What did the number zero say to the number 8? I like your belt"

"who said i can't tell the difference between humans and fruit? are you bananas"

"Why do heavy drinkers usually live longer than light drinkers? Because you thought this was going to be a fat joke, that's why"

"It's not a great nap, unless you wake up and can't remember what day it is."

"[first day as homicide detective] Cop: any signs of forced entry? Me: yeah, a bullet somehow forced its way through his face & into his head"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The P is silent."

"Why did Jesus get pulled over for drunk driving? He had a blood alcohol content of 12.00%. It's made of wine, after all."

"what's the longest word in the dictionary? Smiles, because there is a mile between each s."

"A magician is driving down the street... ...and turns into a driveway."