179510

Joke of the Day

"Why do heavy drinkers usually live longer than light drinkers? Because you thought this was going to be a fat joke, that's why"

"Did you know the Hulk has a lesser know super hero cousin with depression? Yeah, he's called the Incredible Sulk. #momstandup"

"What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You're too young to smoke. Sorry, it's the first joke I ever learned, and I haven't ever seen it posted."

"Two potatoes are standing on the street corner, which one is the prostitute? The one that says Idaho"

"Lost my watch at a party once Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch"

"The good news is my black girlfriend says I have mean dick The bad news is she's a mathematician."

"What did the gassy mummy say to the other gassy mummy? ""We have toots in common"""

"Why did cavemen pull their women around by their hair? Because if they had pulled them by their feet they would have filled up with mud"

"Why are pirates called pirates? Because they AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!"

"Top Five Creepy Things: 5) Dark and stormy nights 4) Spiders 3) Cars with eyelashes 2) Decaf drinkers 1) People who take one bite of cake"