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Joke of the Day

"*Trains lightning bugs to spell* Karen, they have a message for u WILL YOU M- ""Omg Yes!"" OVE OUT? Oh good. Here I packed your bags already."

"Why was the mother cow mad at father cow? Because she had beef with him."

"I dont have a ""college fund"" bc my youngest will most likely get a scholarship and my oldest thinks all dogs are boys and all cats are girls"

"When you don't finish your sentence"

"Why do women have boobs? So ya got something to look at when yah talkin' to em'! So ya got something to look at when yah talkin' to em'! So ya got... Thanks Family Guy."

"When I was a kid my fairy godmother asked me if I wanted a long penis or a long memory I forget my response."

"""Let me get them digits."" - creepy accountant"

"I have to put reminders in my phone for everything or I'll forget it. Like 'pick up milk,' 'go to bank,' 'you don't hate minorities.'"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Berlin ! Berlin who ? Berlin maiden over !"

"Why is PMS called PMS? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was taken!"