66553

Joke of the Day

"What do you call an undulating pig? Swinusoidal."

"Cup of Tea According to Tetley, the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag. So every morning I slap her arse and say ""two sugars fatty""."

"What's the best thing a Star Wars fan would like to find in his garden? Princess Leia with her tits out"

"Why was the little black kid with diarrhea crying? Because he thought he was melting."

"Last night my wife said that our bed had seen better days. She's right. When she stopped at her mum's last week, I had a threesome in it on Monday and Tuesday."

"Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses."

"Why do Zelda and Link smoke weed? Because they live in the kingdom where the hyrule."

"Sex is like chess You gotta know in which position to put the queen"

"[Dinner date] I'm a T-shirt and jeans kind of girl, so I guess I'm kinda a momgirl ""You mean tomgirl?"" Don't talk with your mouth full."

"I hear all these Trump supporters saying they support him because he speaks his mind. Well you know who else speaks his mind? My 4 year old."