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Joke of the Day

"I for one welcome our new insect overlords Resistance is futile."

"Q: How Do You Tell 2 Scottsmen Apart? A: You lift their kilts, and whichever one has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!!"

"My SO always wanted a Disney wedding... But aparently selling our memories of it to a demon was out of the question."

"What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing... they fast."

"Whats a beautiful place like this doing around a girl like you?"

"what if Spider Man has to stop a crime in the countryside"

"Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses."

"Guy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs. Guy: Do they swell? Girl: No. They spread"

"How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door."

"The number one piece of advice I could give to fish is to stay hydrated."