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Joke of the Day

"A liar, a murderer, a cheater walk in to a bar... The Patriots must be in town."

"George Takei, George Clooney, George Lucas, and George R.R. Martin decided to have a barbecue. They named their little get-together the ""George"" Four-Man Grill."

"impress your children by showing them a floppy disk and telling them it's a 3D model of a save icon."

"I just got the biggest idea for a joke! Then I realized it was my dick. No seriously check this one out: ""I dont want to sound like an asshole, but ppfdrtrrtrt *fartnoises*"""

"Why the population in India is exploding these days? Because everyone over there is doing IT!"

"Two antennas meet on a roof and fall in love... They date for awhile, get engaged, and then get married. The wedding ceremony itself wasn't that great, but the reception was amazing!"

"[2 dogs eating dinner] ""u know Sharon, that life insurance policy u found me is great"" [stops chewing] ""why does this taste like chocolate"""

"They should probably have a feature that disables liking horrible statuses on Facebook. Last week 14 people liked that my friend's mom died. I mean, I know she was a bitch, but still."

"after a long day of respecting women I like 2 sit down and ponder how I'm goin 2 respect them the next day"

"How many Apes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one... but it takes a shitload of light bulbs."