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Joke of the Day

"impress your children by showing them a floppy disk and telling them it's a 3D model of a save icon."

"Nervous around the person you like? Sue them. They'll be forced to see you in court, well dressed & in control. Let the law be your wingman."

"I hear they're making a new 50 euro note on grease proof paper"

"should I get a ""hummus"" tattoo in Hebrew and Arabic?"

"I'm a pretty law abiding citizen, but overweight and out of shape security guards really make me want to test their commitment to the job."

"David Cameron: Tax evasion is morally wrong, I leaned that from my father. The tax evasion bit, not the morally wrong bit."

"What's the best part about five year olds? They're hands make your cock look huge"

"How do you get an iraqi woman pregnant? Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest."

"This guy on the subway has piercings on both sides of his neck. Mary Shelley would be so proud of her modern influence."

"Yo' mama so fat, when she was a baby, she took a bath with a rubber albatross."